When All You Want is Solitude

It's been a funny few weeks. I've had a workman here most days doing a backlog of jobs - mainly in the garden which was looking a right mess due to boys decimating just about everything with their bats and balls. We've dismantled their old play shed, replaced a fence, built a patio and had a various number of smaller jobs done that had been accumulating. The last two days the workman, a lovely elderly fellow of the "old school" of tradesman, has been in and out of the kitchen doing some electrics and I've got to admit  after a number of weeks it's now driving me a little crazy.

I've come to really value my few hours at home during school time where, subject to the usual domestic chores, I can do whatever I want. I haven't really been able to settle down to write except in the early morning before anyone gets up and when all is peaceful. It's an endless procession of questions, cups of teas , opening windows, closing windows.... and so on. I've no complaints about my workman (apart from laying the wrong colour slabs - which I decided in the interests of my sanity not to object to!) but I can't wait for some solitude next week when hopefully things will be back to usual for a while.

As a child when I used to ask my father want he wanted for his birthday he would always say "P & Q"  (peace and quiet) - and now I'm the exactly the same. Well, okay, I do drop hints about a nice gem and luxury chocolates from time to time but failing that I'm happy with a bit of  P&Q! Hmm... I think this means I'm middle aged. Oh cripes, soon I'll be listening to classical music, reading poetry and warming my feet by the fire. I may even get a bed jacket...then I think it would be permissible to order some of those weird inventions you get in Sunday supplements. Hurrah!

Okay, okay, so I fancy a tin opener that doesn't require me to anything more than breath to work! Why should I wait till I'm 90? I want one now! And I want a long pincer on a pole so I can pick up stray litter that's blown across the garden without bending down.......and whilst I'm at it I could do with one of those electronic crossword solution finders.......

What is it about those darn magazines? They're totally addictive - who the hell needs drink and drunks - when you can have one of those magazines? If I get one of them, I'm glued to it. Those mags are better than Tolkein - the imagination it must take to dream up some of those inventions is unbelievable! Sometimes I look at them in awe thinking ...

Cripes look at that digital watch that's also is a magnetic key holder and converts into a parachute! Wow, I really, really want one of those! I bet Nic Cage has got one! And that plate stacker which fits into the corner of the cupboard that doubles as a walking frame! .... And I could really use that talking pen which tells the time AND your weight......  And..... oh my goodness...... I 'd lovvvvvvve one of those tables that go over the side of the bed then so I could use my lap top in bed.......

Oh alright, I haven't brought anything from one of those magazines yet. But one day my time will come! In the meantime I'll just have to make do with P & Q and You Tube! Continuing on a political theme here are a few of my favourite clips of the wonderful going-ons in our House of Commons;