It's actually quite hard to believe I'm still scribing this blog, which started out as nothing more than a whimsical notion to find a creative outlet, but I am. I'd like to think there's something meaningful in that achievement but the best I can come up with is - I probably like the sound of my own voice too much!
Anyway, in honour of this momentous occasion, my original intention was to write a short summary of the highs and lows of my life and blog over the last three years - of which they have been many. However, I'll be honest, that's too much like hard work and I'm far too lazy. So instead I'm having a caption competition!
(However, if you really want to find out more about My Witty Ways it's all here in my blog posts - over three years of madcap but hopefully humorous ramblings, punctuated by the occasional moments of despair, melancholy and even on rare occasions, sanity.)
So, back to the caption competition.
The picture below is one I came across at my friend Eddie's photography blog The Cliffwalk - so thanks to Eddie for letting me have use of it. Now, I'm expecting some active audience participation on this post. So, as an extra incentive, I will award some grossly cheap and tasteless prize to the winner- as well as writing them a blog post on any subject they choose!
I will also arrange for you to have a signed copy of The Ascent of Isaac Steward the debut novel of my editor at The View From Here, Mike French, which is due for publication later in the year.
How's that for an attractive proposition?!
Now be warned, Readers, I have already come up with some captions and I am not adverse to awarding myself prizes - so you've got to get your thinking caps on. Don't forget you can comment anonymously - but if you think up a highly original name for yourself as well, you'll be upping your chances of winning!
Okay, so here's the picture and some of my captions:
Bruce apologized to his owner for mistaking her for a bush.
Bruce had an appointment with the pet psychologist - and not a moment too soon.
Bruce knew he'd done wrong when he saw the red hot poker coming at him.
Bruce wanted to join the army but they didn't accept three-legged dogs.
Bruce plonked his arse on the coin; another fifty pence and he could afford a coffee in Costas.
Bruce thought he was a dog and then he saw his lead; he made another appointment with his psychologist.
Bruce remembered that old saying pets look like their owners. He looked at his owner's legs and then at his own... and sighed.
Bruce wanted to raise his ears but he was worried he might take-off.
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Right, that should give you an idea of what I'm after - so give it your best shot!
Ps - Thanks for reading!
I'm rubbish at this sort of thing Mrs T, but here goes:
ReplyDeleteBruce stared straight ahead. If anyone saw him with a human wearing curtains, his days as alpha dog were over.
Excellent, excellent Martin! And not at all rubbish - you obviously have hidden talents in the caption department! A very good start indeed:))
ReplyDeleteAs he waited in A&E, Bruce was tortured by mental replays of the bell-ringing incident at the wedding...
ReplyDeleteMrs Fanshawe previews her novelty curtain tassel collection at the Ideal Home Exhibition.
ReplyDeleteMutton Jeff,
ReplyDeleteVery clever and very funny! And with a name that fits in with caption as well:)) First class!
Highly Commended in the Stanbridge and Tilsworth WI Toilet Roll Holder category.
ReplyDeleteFinding himself at a very dull shoe event, Bruce could have sworn his agent told him it was a PR job for SLUSH puppies...
ReplyDeleteNessun Dorma,
ReplyDeleteA novelty tassel for the curtains? I like it!
If this carried on Bruce felt he'd be in with a pretty good chance of getting Beagle Aid...
ReplyDeleteJean Wadlock - OMG why didn't I think of that! Bruce makes a perfect toliet roll holder. Nice name reminds me of someone....
ReplyDeleteDuchess of Chutney - I got be honest with you -those shoes are mine:))
ReplyDeleteChicken Korma - Oh come on - we've only just finished Comic Relief - my pockets are empty even for poor old Bruce!
ReplyDeleteSome great ones there and I cannot top them. However, may I just say how much I enjoy reading your blog? Here's to many more years of 'The Witty Ways ...'!
ReplyDeleteWhy, I thank you FordFocus Mum:))
ReplyDeleteThe policeman was on the lookout for the thief who took his retractable baton. He had to be around here somewhere.....
ReplyDeleteCongrats on 3 years and 300 posts.
ReplyDeleteI'll take a shot at the caption.
Bruce is thinking, "Take off the collar and show us what you got!"
Sy, Only you could think of that!!!! Quality, quality:))
ReplyDeleteThanks G:)
ReplyDeleteAnd that's a good shot too!!
Bruce was mortified. He felt like a Dope on a Rope.
ReplyDeleteMs Demeanor -Poor, poor Bruce! I think by the end of this he will need more than Beagle Aid!
ReplyDeleteYour captions are pretty unbeatable Mrs. T! "Bruce remembered that old saying pets look like their owners. He looked at his owner's legs and then at his own... and sighed." Lovely, lovely. LOL
ReplyDeleteMy contribution....Bruce: 'Help, my anti-wrinkle cream's stopped working!'
The world knew that Clinton kept Obama on a short leash, but now they had actually seen the tail that wagged the dog.
ReplyDeleteThe game of 'I'll be an umbrella stand if you'll be a standard lamp' lost its shine when they got to A&E ...
ReplyDeletePlease? I've polished the floor, can I go home now?
Thanks Sue - Your caption on the anti wrinkle cream was great - I laughed out loud - I knew there was a joke in that floppy skin somewhere!
ReplyDeleteCynical Cindi,
ReplyDeleteAh ha!! The first politcial caption - I always like a politcal jokes and that's a very clever one!
Ah ha, Fordfocusmum returns! You see Mrs B - a little thinking time and you come up with two corkers:))
ReplyDelete"Kitten?" Bruce said. "What kitten? I haven't seen any kitten."
ReplyDeleteHow about: 'Mrs Ponsonby-Smythe and her dog waited patiently at the check-in for an upgrade.'
ReplyDeleteHa, Ha Marie, simple but effective! Bruce does have a certain air about him doesn't he? An aristocratic pedigree if ever there was one!
ReplyDeleteExcellent Mrs B! I have been waiting for someone to come in with the airport gag:) Now, I'm of the opinion there's a couple more airport gags in there, let's see if anyone comes up with them before I announce a winner!
ReplyDeleteBruce had cocked his leg over one fire hydrant too many.
ReplyDeleteBruce knew the game was up as customs asked whether Mrs Fanshawe had packed her dog herself...
ReplyDeletePB - That Fire hydrant sounds painful!!
ReplyDeleteBurly Chassis; subtle with a laugh out loud result:))
So. When is Judgment Day?
ReplyDeleteThe winner will be announced tomorrow Friday 8th, Arnie:) I trust you'll be back:)
ReplyDeleteHasta la vista, baby.
ReplyDeleteOkay everyone, thank you for your entries. I've had a real laugh! I consulted Mike Frenc,h whose novel will be part of the prize and he chose BURLY CHASSIS - as this was also in my top three I formally announce BURLY CHASSIS as the winner!
ReplyDeleteEmail me with you info Burly Chassis and pick a topic you'd like me to write about!