Why did I think starting a diet five days before Easter Sunday was a good idea?
Answers on the back on a cardboard egg box, please. Preferably an empty one.
And before anyone mentions it - yes, it is another diet: I have a university reunion to go to in October. By then I have to be thin and have a book deal or e book published - otherwise I will not be able to deal with the slow hand-clapping and I might have to throw myself of the Menai Bridge.
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| A picturesque view of the Menai Bridge. It may not look so picturesque in October if there is small rotund body floating downstream or suspended from the railings |
Here's the quick and easy solution, Mrs T! Eat whatever you like and ... don't go to the reunion. You will find that it is full of people about your age who look much older than they should and you will spend a lot of time afterwards asking yourself 'did I look that old to them??' I speak from experience. Only kidding!
ReplyDeleteMrs B, that is possibly the best solution to my dietary dilemmas that anyone could come up with! Apart from a date with George Clooney of course which would result in instantaneous weight loss.
ReplyDeleteThe amputation might not have been that pleasant but you know..where needs must.I wonder if George likes very short women????
Now that is a philosophical question for Easter. Here's another; does George still have that nice villa on Lake Como? And another; if you did have a date with George, just how many appointments for manicures, waxes, fake bakes, hair extensions and the like would you have to endure first? And how long would all that take? I'd really like to know.
ReplyDeleteI think it would take far too long, Mrs B!! And I am far too lazy to do through all that rigmarole - I'd have to charm George with my wit and intelligence. Do you think he likes Knock Knock jokes???
ReplyDeleteI like Knock Knock jokes. Do you know any good ones? (Perhaps, even now, George is Googling Knock Knock jokes ...?!)
ReplyDeleteI don't know ANY good knock knock jokes. However, here we go:
ReplyDeleteKnock, knock
Who's there?
Isabell?
Isabell who?
Isabell not working?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Toulouse
Toulouse who?
Toulouse are better in one house I'd say...
Maybe I could quote poetry instead....:))
Knock, knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Little old lady
Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel.
Knock knock jokes don't get any better do they, Mrs B?!
ReplyDeleteStill, they're one step from a Christmas cracker joke:)