Blogging A to Z: G is for Guns and Girls

This could be a contentious post because I have quite a few American readers and I know the US has a far more relaxed gun law than the UK. So it's possible US readers might want to let off some steam in the comments.

Now I suspect some US folks might think that we Brits are a bunch of wet pussies policing London with umbrellas and a couple of old batons. But before any of you go leaving your pro-gun law rants I want to let you into a secret.

*ssshhh*

I have some guns of my own.

Yeah, that's right, readers. Mrs T has her own guns 'cos I am well into personal safety and no mad serial-killer-fruitcake or author-stalker is going to get through my front door without getting his arse blown right off.

Now I suspect you'd all like to see my guns. Well, here they are:

Oh there's a crossbow there too - that's for when I'm chilling.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know they're only plastic. But, believe me, I can do A LOT of damage with those guns. I've got three sons so I've done the equivalent of ten years SAS training in my 23 years as a mum and there ain't nothing I can't do with a stack of rubber bullets and a water pistol.

Yep, you heard correct - I have water pistols too. Well not strictly water pistols - more like effluent pistols. One shot in the face from one of  my MK46 Sub-Effluent machine guns and you're done for. You won't be able to hold anything down for a week and you'll be dead before you've run out of clean undies.

So basically, I am cool gun-toting chick (hence the "girls" in this title) like you see in the movies. Except I'm British which means not only am I cooler than Angelina Jolie but, since I am also younger than Helen Mirren, I am super super cool.  Anyway being so super hot and cool I thought I'd post a picture of myself cos I know you're all now curious about the way I look.

Now long term readers of my blog will be familiar with the picture of me below, posing in one of my relaxed moods, but I just want to remind any new male readers that I am handy with guns so keep your smutty thoughts to yourself. Also, I am related to the Queen so if you get too familiar with me it will be straight to the tower.

The MK46 sub effluent machine gun is under the bed. I feel naked without it.

You can check out the other Blogging A to Z candidates HERE.

Previous posts: A is for Arses and Aidan Turner
                         B is for Bullshit
                         C is for Chinese Crispy Duck and the Conservative Party.
                         D is for Diarrhea, Dinosaurs and Depauperation
                         E is for Eulogy for the Earth
                         F is for Ferrero Rocher