F is for Foreplay

This is going to be a very short post.

(As befitting the average amount of foreplay a typical woman receives.)

So... foreplay. It's a bit of a sensitive subject. But I'm not one to shy away from sensitive subjects so I've done some research on it. (About the average length of a foreplay session so I leave you to come to your own conclusions on my diligence.)  And I have come to the following conclusion:

1. Women don't get enough of it.

That's it.

Oh yes... and sometimes it is a bit messy.

So my top five tips for men to improve their lovelife and satisfy their women are:

1. When a woman says "Don't stop doing that" it should not be wrongly interpreted that she means you should stop and look-up the football scores.

2.When a woman passionately whispers "Oh George you're so gorgeous" and your name is not George don't be bitter, be grateful. Your partner's fantasy means you'll be able to get back to Match of the Day before half-time is over.

3. Personal hygiene in their partner is very important to a woman. Going to bed wearing the same underwear you've worn all day (with the skid marks on) is not going to turn her on.

4. Never trim your nasal hair in view of your woman and never, ever trim your nasal hair in bed.

5. Never take your phone to bed with you and never answer a call from your boss while your woman is feeling horny because she will never, ever forget you choose your boss over her.

"It's my boss. He want to know the football scores."

Do you have any tips to improve foreplay? Leave them in the comments!